Are you tired of getting a lot of no’s? You shouldn’t be. No is the answer you want. Every no brings you one step closer to yes.   

Most people don’t like to hear the word no in response to their request. It means that they did not get what they want (at least not yet). It signals disapproval. And it may also contain the sting of rejection. It feels bad, but as with so many things it all depends on how you look at it.

Salesmen love the word no. It contains valuable information. They are trained to ask Why? and refine that information with further questions. It is called overcoming objections. 

Let’s say you are considering a major purchase, such as a monster TV. The salesman wants you to ultimately say yes, but he’ll gladly take a no. Then he’ll ask why. You might say, “I need to discuss it with my wife.” Or, “I can’t afford it right now.” Or, “I’d like to shop around before I decide.” It doesn’t matter what reason/excuse you give—whatever you say, the salesman has heard it before, and he has an answer ready. Every no brings him one step closer to yes.

Imagine you’re buying a used car. You offer $30,000 and the seller says yes. Congratulations, you just bought yourself a car. But you wonder whether you could have gotten it for less. Probably, but you’ll never know. Imagine instead that you make a low offer of $23,000 and the seller says no. You raise your offer to $25,000, and the seller says no again. $26,000. No. $26,500. No. $27,000. Yes, it’s a deal! You had to endure a few no’s, but you are confident that you got the best or very nearly the best deal you could get. You gotta love that. 

Getting a quick yes to your initial offer of $30,000 would have been easy, but it would have cost you money. You want a series of no’s to let you know you’re getting the best deal possible.

Every negotiation begins with a no. If your counterpart said yes there would be nothing to negotiate. No is just their opening position. You have to take the no’s and work past them to get a yes.

“No” is a beautiful word. Learn to love it. It’s easy, once you know what it really means.